Atlas

I want to hold you in the palm of my hand,

So I can see all of you at once.

There would be no surprises

And there would be no judgement.

I would have known from the start.

I wish I was an orical,

So I could see my future,

And know whether or not

I made it

Or if success was worth all the effort.

I wish I was Atlas,

The man who hold up the skies,

Then I would help everyone

And no one would be left behind.

Everyone would know,

And no one would know.

I would be sure that I made it.

I'm sorry you're such an asshole

I'm bruised

You bruised me, but that just means evidence of you will be with me forever. I've struggled with this bruise for so long, but now I bare it. I'm proud. It makes me who I am. I'm weird and quirky. The opinion you drained from me is returning. I don't cry anymore. I have arms around me. Arms, that love, encourage and lift. I feel a gap, but its not for you to fill. I hide in fear of what is difficult. I don't understand myself. I can't control myself. I'm waiting for the help. The corner is dark and dusty. I'm not saying it's your fault, but I'm afraid to let anyone into it because of my bruise. My bruise is not alone, and I don't think time heals. I will treasure it always.

Yoga

I just tried yoga for the first time. It's awesome! I would just close my eyes and transport myself to a dewy meadow in the middle of summer. Ahhhhhhh.... I'm going to start doing it every week. It's nice to relax every once in a while. Then I came home and ate some shepard's pie. What a nice night huh? On a more productive note, I spent the entire afternoon job hunting. Lets hope I hear back from someone :) I can't believe that the Olympics are basically in my backyard and I'm stuck in my house. I haven't been downtown yet. I guess I've got to start begging my friends to take me. Lets hope that ends well too.

Olymics is to celebrate as Puppy is to remain calm with.

We finally got a puppy that's all ours (no trade backs this time.) I'm kind of annoyed at the purpose of the puppy (to help my sister overcome her dyslexia and give her some confidence) I'm not saying ifs a bad thing or she should have the puppy, but I'm just a little annoyed. Were was all this support when I was young and struggling? Oh well I can get over that part. It's more of the fact that she has misplaced confidence, making the eleven year old hypocritical about how to treat the pup and ignorant to everyone else's advice. My mom gave her clear instructions on how to introduce the puppy to our house and train him to be a calm and peaceful dog (he's half chihuahua and we don't want him to be yappy, thus implying the dog whisperer tactics on him) and she's doing the opposite most of the time and as soon as someone calls her on it she rolls her eyes in her annoying brat way. -> i still love my sister, i just don't agree with what's going on.

I have to get up at five in the morning tomorrow. FUN STUFF!! The Olympic torch relay is running through our town at eight, but celebration starts early. :( I should go because its a once in a life time experience, but its five am! Grin and bare it I guess. One more week until the Olympics! :D

Quicky (heheheheh)

I've got a headache so this will be quick (yes that sound sexual to me to. It wasn't meant to be.) I'm done exams, I don't think I failed any of the ones that weren't math. A.k.a I did okay in everything but math. Rejoice for a moment.... and we're back. And so will I be at school at Monday FUN! So, I'm gonna have to try and remember what homework I haven't done. My Uncle took me out driving and I seemed to do okay! (Nobody died!) I'm also trying to get a job again, because I nickle and dimmed my self out of money :( I applied at Starbucks so I'll get back to you on that :)

Everythings New

My family tomorrow is adopting a second dog. His name is Ninjay (not ninja nin-J) I'm not sure what the breed is called it looks like a black and white larger version of Lady from Lady and the tramp. He's a cutie and hopefully he gets along well with our current dog Raven (she's half lab half dogo), who today caught me trying to pry my sisters popcorn from her hands and tried to put me in her place (don't worry in a cute mother dog kind of way). I love Raven! We are also getting a new car (my dad's attempt at souping up a car really. Basically he bought a wrecked car and fixed it. At least its better than our old breaking down truck! I'm also in the middle of exams and am alarmingly stressed out. On a different note. I WANT TO LIVE IN PANDORA! Seriously its now my dream world do be a Na'vi would be incredible! So so so so so so so incredible! Yeah, the movie made my life seem like absolute crap!

It's dinner time (stew... that's alright i guess) Carolyn :)

** Update** The dog is too nuts for our family (a.k.a unless you like runs in circles and circles with eternal energy the this dog isn't for you either) It's alright thought the previous owners have another family more than happy to take him. It's fine with me, I love our current dog to bits :)

Love is Deaf

Hello again. One of my best friends has nearly gotten herself a boyfriend. I think I'm afraid of change. My sister got her first boyfriend about six months ago. She's not my practical twin anymore. She's different. She's become douchette. Yeah I know harsh. But I really don't like this guy. In fact I've told her and well. She doesn't seem to care claiming that "guys don't change after they turn 15" pardon my french but bullsh*t!!! I see how in someways its true but in this case its not! All I want is this guy to treat me with a little bit of respect and she won't do anything! In fact my other friend (and his neighbor) told his I don't like him and he doesn't care! Anyways so now you understand why I have a distaste for people close to me getting into relationships at the moment. In this new case however it's not that I don't like the guy its that this guy is her friend (not mutual) 's ex. Yes high school drama here we come! BOOO! I keep telling her that they NEED to talk about it I know all too well what its like to destroy relationships because of a new significant other, (I've done it too not just my sister) I've heard love is blind, but since when is it DEAF?! It's like watching too trains about to collide and you're pulling the break but it's been welded shut. February's gonna be FUN! Yes my life is full of high school drama that I wish I could get out of, but I guess it all comes with being 16 right. Just be happy to know I'm trying to be Switzerland.

First things first

I assume that as a first posting this will end up being a little embarrassing. I'm content with life at the moment. That is probably due to the fact that I'm falling asleep here. I don't know why I just created a blog. I guess I just thought it'd be something to do. Another place to write you know? When I actually have things to rant about I'll do so but at the moment all I can say is: I have the day off tomorrow to study for exams, so I'm going to go and catch up on some sleep! Yeah! In case you're wondering I have my Religion (I'll explain later) and English exams first and I'm not worried :) The others however I make no promises. Note: That's not my picture I found it on deviantART (it's by http://shortpinay.deviantart.com/)

Anywho goodnight!